Trust Me

I still remember the words my husband said as we drove around a late Sunday afternoon. “Do you trust God?” His tone was scary and firm, I knew something was going to happen and changed our lives forever. I said “If He is allowed to happen, He would see us through”. Was what I said, holding my breath and expecting his answer. The landlord is selling the house. We have 30-60 days to moved out. I stood silence for what it seems a long time. For the last few months I had asked if he was going to take advantage of the market and sell his property.  We had been there for 12 years. No it was his answer, every time I asked. We had pushed ourselves to paid off my new car. Since I had been driving ugly Betty a 27 year old Oldsmobile. Which literally was breaking on me. We only had one month to pay it off. My husband had always wanted a new truck so before we made the purchase, once again I had gone to the landlord and asked “Are you selling” No you would be the 1st to know. We went and purchased (finance) his new truck. A month later right before Mother’s Day I was told by my husband that we had to moved out. I felt my whole world coming to and end, how we would do this? Do we have the savings to pull this through? Are we going to be able to find a house in  this market? So many questions. I felt numb. Frozen. I could feel fear, anxiety creeping in. As we prayed. We came up with a plan. The following Tuesday at my lady's group I told them what had taken place. To hear them giving me referrals,  connections. I also heard my own children’s telling us, you can’t pack and move in 30 days, you’re crazy if you think that is going to be possible. Get ready for be taken advantage,  the market is hot. Be ready for a bidding war. You are going to over paid. The next day I had a medical appointment in which due to my level of anxiety my doctor recommended for me to see a psychiatrist and even putting me on medication. Which I refused. All I heard was Crazy. Every one was throwing that word at me. Little that they know. I had been fighting the system for 20 years. Due to my family lineage, mental illness run deep in my family. One uncle committed suicide and another aunt is under medication and even been in mental institutions. My sister and niece they both had mental breakdowns. So when I heard psychiatrist all I heard is you are crazy. As I came home or what had been our place for the last 12 years I heard in my heart the Lord saying “I have your home all you have to do is find it “ and yet at the same time another voice whispering and laughing “yeah try to find a house in this market is like finding a needle in a haystack”. (The Lord speak to your heart the enemy whispers in your ear) I had to closed myself to everyone and everything around me. Working full time, trying to find a realtor every thing all happening at the same time. I felt like I was inside a tornado, all around me was spinning out off control. But God. He kept me under the wings of his protection. He send a pastor friend my way to hear me and to listen to my cry, my fears, my anxieties.  I walked out of her office. Ready to confront the storm. Next day I found a mortgage broker who put me in contact with a realtor. Few times during that week, I visited few homes, other times that an offer was taking place. One night after we finishing driving around looking a new listing, we made few changes on our “demands” (my husband) we not longer where looking for garage or 2nd bathroom. Once we let go of the wants the Lord provide for us the place we were to call home. As I am driving to see the house The Lord said “claim it for is yours” as I drove to the house I said that “this is it, do what ever you need to do to get it “ what happen if they increased the price ? Then it isn’t for me. Are you going to look around? “I don’t need to” I heard myself saying. For I know the Lord himself had picked the house for us. So far he has make a way for the landlord to give us 6k, something about he saving our percentage for the years we had lived at his place. That took place on Monday, Tuesday we had a phone call from our realtor, they had accepted our offer. The other buyers had pull back. By the Grace and mercy of God. The help from my core, we moved exactly 45 days later. The Lord provided for us. He said “it’s about time Ivette, this is the fruit of your faithfulness”. When we allowed God to work for us, we work less. In the economy that we are. We were able to purchase a house, at incredible price, get extra money so we could start our new life’s in our new home. We had consecrated to the Lord. My office had become the headquarters for my Intercesory prayers.  The Lord said  “Trust Me” and we had. We look at Gods economy not at world economy. The Lord provided for us and He would continue providing.  Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and your grace. Ivette Diaz-Yee June 23, 2021

#20th

Come seat with me at Our table #20 = complete, perfect waiting period Balance; mind, body, spirit Peace and tranquillity It’s a number of move 20 represents Redemption- deliverance from what ever it’s holding you back. It’s maintain faith and patience as your desires and wishes are being fulfilled. 20 years ago I walk thru the back door of TCPA for what I thought would be 6 months rehabilitation. Little that I know the Lord was going to used that place to changed me, transformed me and make me new. I pray two powerful prayer that day: -don’t let me leave this place the way I came in” -help me from myself. My job had sent me away on a leave of absence, and I had 6 months to get better and come back. But the Lord had a different plan for me. Weeks before coming in I had been diagnose with mental illness, schizophrenia, and addiction behavior. I was told I needed to go in to medication and because mental illness was in my family line I was destined to have it too. It’s genetic. It’s in you. But I refused to believe it. In the mist off all that was taking place around me The Lord showed me where I was going, if I didn’t make a move. Jail, mental institutions or morgue. I refused all. And arrange to come into a place where I could help myself, not just for me but in order to help my kids I needed to get my act together. I had to give legal rights to my sister over my youngest child. In order to work with me and become who I am today. I had to make a lot off sacrifices. Moved away, leave behind what was familiar. This year we I am celebrating 20 years off freedom, healing and restoration. It’s hasn’t been easy but it has been worth it. Today you are witnessing the power of God in my life. He did It for me. He would do it for you. Just give him a try. We had tried everything why not Jesus? You are walking the most difficult steps right now. Time has come for you to slow down , look inside and allow God to change you. It is not a coincidence but a divine appointment from the Lord himself, that you are reading this post. Today I celebrate you and the work you will allowed God to do in you and thru you. “The Good of God in Me, Overshadows the Wrong I Had Done” For His glory. For His Honor. “ Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12 Ivette Diaz-Yee S❤️‍🩹BG #20 #mytestimony #redeem #freedomfromdarkness

My New Red Jacket

 My New Red Jacket

“ Take of his filthy clothes. “ 

Grow where you planted , even when you are transplanted. 

One morning as I’m getting ready to work, I came across this old red jacket. Had been used, few stains here and there, but still looked good.  I put it on and left for work. 

As I’m sitting in my desk I notice the liner is coming apart and is showing.  I Did my best to hide it. would fix once I get home, I heard this whisper saying “. This is you Ivette”

I ignored it, I didn’t want to listen. A few months later I came across the same jacket again and I remember what I heard not too long ago.  This time I took the jacket and I asked how can this be? 

I held the jacket closed to my heart and ask The Lord to show me. 

Open it I heard. I had put that jacket through a lot. From  the Cleaners to the washer and then to the dryer.  Once I opened the jacket I got to see the inside of it. Yeah this jacket represented me. I was walking inside the church, trying to stay away, hiding in plain view.  Carrying inside all my hurt, my fears , insecurities, disappointments, my lost confidence.  God was calling me out but I had been left bare, alone and broken by my own brothers and sisters. I was hiding within the shadows. 

Inner healing was taking place deep inside of me. God was working with my soul. All I wanted to do was to remove the hurt and hide all traces of my pass.  God wanted to make me whole and to share all our load. New from the inside out. 

No more running away no more dragging my feeds. Time was now for healing to take place. I allowed it. I broke down in tears and asked for his guidance and help. 

The Red Jacket is a  constant reminder that I can’t hide who I am. And the new tears that shows now it’s because doesn’t fit anymore because God has transplanted me and I would grow again and I would bloom where He has planted me.

Zechariah 3:3-5