In The Palm of His Hand

Heavenly Father, I come before You today, seeking Your protection and strength. You are her refuge and fortress, our God, in whom we trust. I ask that You surround her with Your loving presence and cast out all fear from her heart. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, even in the midst of this storm. Lord, I pray for courage to stand firm and to seek the help she need. Give her the wisdom to make the right decisions and the strength to follow through, even when she feel afraid. Help her to see her self as You see her, worthy of love, respect, and safety. Protect her from harm and guide her to safe spaces and supportive people who can help her. Break the chains of abuse and violence, and let Your light shine in the darkness. I ask that You deliver her from this situation and heal her heart, mind, and body from the wounds inflicted upon her. May Your angels watch over her and may Your Holy Spirit comfort her. I declare that fear has no place in her life, for You have not given her a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. Ruth 8/12/24 https://victimconnect.org "See I have engrave You on the palms of my Hands". Isaiah 46:16

Hopelessness

definition: having no expectation of good or success, despair, feeling hopeless and alone.

Suicide is selfish for only thinking of self, it focuses on the past. Highlights the mistakes made. The regrets. The what ifs of life. Compares ours now with others around us. It makes us think it’s the easy way out. It's the way we try to put an end to a life lived in agony, despair, shame, and guilt. It plays with our minds and makes them seem that is the only way. The pain we carry is so heavy, it has taken our will to live. We are tired of trying. Over and over we enter the hamster wheel to end up in the same place. How do we get here? We ask, over and over. We rationalize the lies we had believed. “It will be better without me, one less problem for the family. Life for them will be better if I am out of the way”. Those were the words I heard that night, as I looked into the mirror and I saw death looking right back at me. Whispering to take the blade and cut my veins. Shame had robbed me, addiction had me bound. I didn't have the strength. I had tried to stop many times. Moved away, but in reality, all I had done was changed my zip code. Little did I know, I was full of hurt, abandonment, and unforgiveness. That night I was saved by my daughter knocking down the door from the bathroom. I do remember taking the blade and going directly to my veins, but I don't remember anything else. To find out years later, The Lord had an angel holding my hand. I was selfish. I was just thinking of myself. I was hopeless. I was lost. This is the 1st time I share this deep personal experience hope it helps someone else. You are not alone. You have a community to help you just reach out. In your agony cry out for HELP to the one that could hear you and heal you. “In my distress, I called to the Lord, and He answered me. From the depths of my grave, I called for help and you listened to my cry”. Jonah 2:2 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Ivette 6/19/23

Place Call Home

I still remember the words my husband said as we drove around a late Sunday afternoon. “Do you trust God?” His tone was scary and firm, I knew something was going to happen and changed our lives for ever. I said “If He is allowed to happen, He would see us through”. Was what I said, holding my breath and expecting his answer. The landlord is selling the house. We have 30-60 days to moved out. I stood silence for what it seems a long time. For the last few months I had asked if he was going to take advantage of the market and sell his property.  We had been there for 12 years. No it was his answer, every time I asked. We had pushed ourselves to paid off my new car. Since I had been driving ugly Betty a 27 year old Oldsmobile. Which literally was breaking on me. We only had one month to paid it off. My husband had always wanted a Tacoma truck so before we make the purchase, once again I had gone to landlord and asked “are you selling” No you would be he 1st to know. We went and purchased (finance) his new truck. A month later right before Mother’s Day I was told by my husband that we had to moved out. I felt my whole world coming to and end, how we would do this? Do we have the savings to pull this through? Are we going to be able to find a house in  this market? So many questions. I felt numb. Frozen. I could feel fear, anxiety creeping in. As we prayed. We came with a plan. The following Tuesday at my ladies group I told them what it had taken place. To hear them giving me referrals,  connections. I also heard my own children’s telling us, you can’t pack and move in 30 days, you’re crazy if you think that is going to be possible. Get ready for be taken advantage,  the market is hot. Be ready for bidding war. You are going to over paid. The next day I had a medical appointment in which due to my level of anxiety my doctor recommended for me to see a psychiatrist and even putting me on medication. Which I refused. All I heard was Crazy. Every one was throwing that word at me. Little that they know. I had been fighting the system for 20 years. Due to my family lineage, mental illness run deep in my family. One uncle committed suicide and another aunt is under medication and even been in mental institutions. My sister and niece they both had mental breakdowns. So when I heard psychiatrist all I heard is you are crazy. As I came home or what had been our place for the last 12 years I heard in my heart the Lord saying “I have your home all you had to do is find it “ and yet at the same thing another voice whispering and laughing “yeah try to find a house in this market is like finding a needle in a haystack”. (The Lord speak to your heart the enemy whispers in your ear) I had to closed myself to everyone and everything around me. Working full time, trying to find a realtor every thing all happening at the same time. I felt like I was inside a tornado, all around me was spinning out off control. But God. He kept me under the wings of his protection. He send a pastor friend my way to hear me and to listen to my cry, my fears, my anxieties.  I walked out of her office. Ready to confront the storm. Next day I found a mortgage broker who put me in contact with a realtor. Few times during that week, I visited few homes, other times that an offer was taking place. One night after we finishing driving around looking a new listing, we made few changes on our “demands” (my husband) we not longer where looking for garage or 2nd bathroom. Once we let go of the wants the Lord provide for us the place we were to call home. As I am driving to see the house The Lord said “claim it for is yours” as I drove to the house I said that “this is it, do what ever you need to do to get it “ what happen if they increased the price ? Then it isn’t for me. Are you going to look around? “I don’t need to” I heard myself saying. For I know the Lord himself had picked the house for us. So far he has make a way for the landlord to give us 6k, something about he saving our percentage for the years we had lived at his place. That took place on Monday, Tuesday we had a phone call from our realtor, they had accepted our offer. The other buyers had pull back. By the Grace and mercy of God. The help from my core, we moved exactly 45 days later. The Lord provided for us. He said “it’s about time Ivette, this is the fruit of your faithfulness”. When we allowed God to work for us, we work less. In the economy that we are. We were able to purchase a house, at incredible price, get extra money so we could start our new life’s in our new home. We had consecrated to the Lord. My office had become the headquarters for my Intercesory prayers.  The Lord said  “Trust Me” and we had. We look at Gods economy not at world economy. The Lord provided for us and He would continue providing.  Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and your grace. Ivette Diaz-Yee June 23, 2021

The Boxing Gloves

The Lord is giving us the power to do all things we would not otherwise be able to do. As we prayed and worship I see this boxing gloves. I don’t know if I am to take them or if they belong to some one else. I am intrigued by then. Did it means we are ready to go into the ring. Does it means we are being trained for the great match of our life time. Still I gaze at them. But by me gazing at them without putting them on they do nothing. They won’t win the greatest match if they are not put to used. As I look again, some one is giving me the gloves for me to put on. Yes, I am to put them on. We are the gloves in Gods hands. Fitted perfectly for our hands. Without his power, and strength letting us on, we are useless. His power in us unable us to do what other way, we won’t be able to attain. The time is here: today is the day, not looking back, you had been trained in the fires of afflictions. The Lord himself had trained you, kept you , lead you and direct you to where we stand today. We are still in the ring of life. We may had loose few rounds, but we are not loosing the fight. For we are fighting the good fight of faith. Go in, all out for Jesus. This fights it’s been fixed. In the end, We win. Thank you, Lord. 💕💕 Ivette Diaz-Yee

The Year Our World Changed.

The year our world changed. Christ.Over.Virus & Infection.Disease Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous Do not be frightened, And do not be dismayed For the Lord your God is With you whenever you go” This was the first off many scriptures the Lord gave me when this pandemic started. I was taken out off work 3/20/2020. I was in the process of writing “My personal walk to Gethsemane,coming face to face with self and life in this current world.” Preparation for Passover. Everything around me was changing. The words that where coming out off the news; Pandemic-an outbreaks affecting an exceptional high proportion of the population Lockdown- people must stay where they are Isolation- separated from others. Well plan strategically, powerful and effective. That my opinion off it. Little by little I whiteness how our states were closing down to prevent the spread off it. I asked the Lord what I am do to. Saturated your self with my word. Anchor yourself to the scriptures. Saturated-holding as much water or moisture as can be, absorb; throughly, soaked. God has been preparing his people for a long time. It is writing on Amos 3:7 “The Lord God will do nothing without reveling his secrets to his servants the prophets”. He has been talking. But we had been too busy, distracted, overwhelmed, tired, to even pay attention. Until now. I walked outside and I came face to face with panic, fear, greed. People running around over buying groceries. C’mmm to run out off paper toilet. Hundreds of people at the supermarkets, I came in to buy some chicken am I find this little old lady confused because she need it a whole chicken in order to make her soups. Scare, alone...talking to herself. I said to her, you be fine sometimes we had to learn different ways to make the same thing, took my time to explain how she could still make her soups without the whole chicken. For one second her fears left her. I walked away knowing in my heart; The world the way we knew it’s never coming back. But Jesus Chris is. Hopefully we had learn, prepared and able to recognize the trick of the enemy. We ought to be vigilant and ready. For we are living very darks days. let this be a lesson for all of us to learn. Ivette Diaz-Yee March 2020

The Empty Seat

As I prayed over our beloved church. I star to remember where people used to sit. Once we get familiar we tent to claim a sit as our own. I myself I try not to sit in the same place, I tent to change it up, since it gives me a better chance to meet new people. Or get lost within, going unnoticed. But this morning as I ponder about the missing brothers and sisters. My hearts aches for the freinds and family that are gone. Would I see them again? As I pour out myself to the Lord. Writing how I feel. Alone and lonely. Many feelings running through me. I stared to think off few months ago as I am greeting people as the walk in. My eyes capture this mother battling health issues. Trying to walk through with her walker on hand. Her little daughter walking right beside her. This isolation has taken a toll in this little girl. Hair unkept, dirty long sweater. She is waking right between us and yet no one sees her. I try to talk to her, lower myself to her level looking directly at her eyes. She hides from me. And I said , why are you hiding from me sweetheart. No response. We need to keep the line going I was told. Did anybody sees her? As I remember that situation I started to pour out myself to the Lord. No words because I don’t know what to said. I sat in silence. Then I heard this within my souls. “How do you feels seeing all those empty seat, where faithful servants once’s sat?” Today I am looking for the familiar faces, those that help me through when everyone else left me alone. I don’t see them. Where are they? Are they coming back? How are they doing ? Did some one reach out to them? So as I walked into church this morning, with anticipation to see what the Lord has for me. I am walking with expectancy in my heart. Only in His presence I am able to see clear. Hear clear and understand what is taking place. My hear is heavy. I don’t want to think. All I want is to get lost within His presence. I want to run to the altar and lay at His feet. But I can’t. I don’t even know if it would be allowed. So there next to rows off empty chairs behind me I knell and allow myself to be touch in my most delicate areas. I am mourning I and lamenting. I am broken. How does it feel? I don’t have words to express them. The Lord said to learn the language of my heart ❤️. So here I sit. Away from every one. Listening to worship knowing that I had to press thru. The Lord has not release me yet. As I sit in service I noticed a little girl, enjoying the worship, eyes closed hands raised up. She can’t be more than 3 years old and here she stand. A road of chairs between us. Sumerge in his presence. I hear the words in my heart “come to me with the child like faith“. Deep deep inside my soul the Lord allows me to see my wrong motives, wrong expectation not wiling to received. A lot of my familiar faces are gone. Someone else sitting in their chairs. Are they been missing? Did someone reach out to them? Where are they? Would I see them again? Those are the questions I ask myself and I asked God. I may never get an answer. All I know it’s that today as I sit in the back of the church, waiting and watching. I have not been released yet. Like it or not I need to stay here. Lord I repent for my unwillingness to let go, trying to change things and allowing my EGO to take over. Forgive me Lord. Received me once again and allow me to see what you want me to see. Guard my heart. Channel my emotions and lead me. In Jesus name. Amen Ivette Diaz-Yee S♥BG February 21

I am Only Human

 Reconcile to God 

Our times had become so chaotic that we had allow our mind to think that we have many races. But do we know the real meaning and definition of Race? Yes is related to racial but we, you and me belong to the only race that exists Human Race.  “Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man nostrils and the man became a living person “ Gen 2:7

Yet we have allowed society to dictated and to give us their interpretation of it. The word we need to look is ethnicity, definition according to google. 

Ethnicity: belonging to a social group that has a common national or cultural. 

I just noticed something as I am filling up an application ; there is a place we are supposed to mark which one is your race. White, Black , American Indian , Asian/Pacific , Unknown or other. Since when we have allowed this to take place? All my life, until now. Since all this racial discrimination, racial disturbances started, I saw a division within us. Our humanity is at hand. We all belong to the human race. There is not another race but human.  We are all the same. You cut me and I bleed just like you. My ethnicity is different from many of yours, I was born in a small island of the Caribbean called Puerto Rico. Which it makes me a Puertorican woman. And yes there is not a place for me to mark , according to them my race. That means I don’t exit? I have no value? I am not black or white. Just a simple girls from the mountains of Puerto Rico , A human being. Yes there is not a place for me to identify myself in this application. Should I picked  “other” since when I consider myself other. Never and I’m not going to star now. But wait I breathe and feel just like you. 

We have allowed the enemy to run rampant around us, creating chaos every where he goes. We had allowed him to steal our identity and forgotten who we really are:  Children’s of God. 

We are created as the image of God. Man and woman he created. 

Healing Comes Out Of Chaos

  “Healing Comes Out Of Chaos”

In 2 Chronicles 7:14  The Lord gave us a mandate. “ if my people” talks about us. 

I wrote a devotional few weeks ago which talks about if my people would really humble and really seek the Lord. 

and today  he brings the same devotion, but in a different perspective. 

Through this pandemic we have learned how to truly and honestly humble ourselves truly repent from our inner self and expose the heart. We have learned how to repent from our indifference and our attitude that “it doesn’t concern me, it has nothing to do with me”kind off respond. 

The Lord has used the riots to expose the heart of a nation and his people.

God is using what came to divide us what had brought chaos and mayhem for good; his  people are coming out of hiding like Gideon and they had taken their rightful position and standing in the gab. 

The Lord uses the riots to expose the heart of our nation.  As we continue seeking him fighting in prayer he direct our steps. 

A house divided will not stand so we go together hundreds off us, in prayer, repentance and humility and seek God for answers. 

We don’t know what to do  but our eyesight are upon him. His righteousness hand will deliver us and save us. 

Not because we are better than anybody else but because the love that he has for us , because of his grace  and because of his  great mercy we are  not consume , for his mercy is renew every morning. 

He said to put our house in order and we are trying; it would  take years but we are making the efforts exposing the plans of the enemy and making changes. 

The Lord himself will bring the victory he had  reserved those whose knees has not bow down to the Baal of this world.  (1 King 19:18) they had not allowed fear and intimidation to bend them down. 

He has heard our prayers and seeing our tears he will healed us. (2 King 20:5b)

He will give us rest in the years to come. 

It won’t be without a fight it and won’t be easy either , but it will be worth it. 

America has been awaken, the sleeping beauty has been raised up from her slumber. Eyes had been open. Everything has been exposed , secret has been revealed and God will restore us back to our former glory. 

And yes the Lord uses ordinary men and women’s ; dislike people and hated people to fight for us God’s people. 

The word of God said  “But God  chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the wicked things of the world to shame the strong and he chose  the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not to nullify the things they are so that no one may boast before him” 1 Corth 1:27

As I said before everything would happen and it would take place according to heavens agenda. Today we are fighting for the souls of our nation. For our freedom our healing and our restoration. And it would come , but not without a fight. Together we stand. Divide we are weak.  Preservation in the mist of chaos. By Gods grace and goodness He will give us the victory. This is all distractions and smoke screen. Open your eyes.  

C. Christ

H. handling 

A. and 

O. orchestrating 

S. salvation 

Ivette Diaz-Yee